Veni Vidi Vici
by LegendsofLit
Summary: In the immortal words of Julius Caesar, "I came, I saw, I conquered." Copper one-shot.


**Callie again, posting after midnight because this is what I do when I can't sleep. Oh well. Proudly presenting…COPPER! Also known as the best thing since spoons, if I do say so myself.**

**Oh, yeah, it's Connor/Piper and has no relation whatsoever to spoons.**

**I do not own PJO.**

O-o-O

**i. i came**

Connor didn't think much of the new Aphrodite girl, except that she was hot—which held true for all of her female siblings. Not much for brains, he figured, and yeah, he kind of held a grudge against the Aphrodite cabin since the Golden Mango incident (and was fairly sure that they didn't like him, either). Still, she was an _Aphrodite girl—_the Holy Grail of girlfriends. So why not give it a shot?

"Hey, um…Piper, right?" he said, and without waiting for an answer thrust his hand out. "Connor Stoll, Mad Genius."

She smirked a little. "Piper I'm-not-telling-you-my-last-name, the apparent Dumpster Queen. Pleased to meet you," she added, meeting his handshake with a surprisingly strong and un-manicured grip.

"The lady has a sense of humor."

"Who says I'm a lady? I'm standing on your left."

He gave her a weird look. "Say what?"

"Nothing. Nerd joke."

Intelligent, too. Bonus. "So, what _will_ make you a lady?"

She laughed and walked behind him until she was standing on his right side. "Now I'm a lady. Satisfied?"

He offered his arm in a dignified manner. "Would the lady like to accompany me to the training hall? I've never fought someone with a dagger."

Piper glanced over his shoulder. Jason was playing basketball with one of the Ares kids. Her cheeks reddened, and she stammered, "Um, maybe later," before running to join him. She jumped into the middle of the game, snatching the ball from Jason with a charismatic smile, and teasingly dribbled it away from him.

Just when he'd started to think she was better than the rest of them. Maybe Aphrodite girls only existed to flirt after all.

**ii. i saw**

"Hey, Lady Piper. Why the long face?" he asked, sitting next to her outside the dining hall.

"Don't call me that," she muttered.

"Okay, then, Sacagawea. What's wrong?"

She glared at him but let it slide. "Nothing." Then she went back to pouting and staring off into space…

Oh, no, she was staring at Jason. Who was staring at Annabeth. With an expression that screamed _puppy love._

No wonder Piper was in a bad mood.

"No worries," he said, "Annabeth won't go for him. She's still moping about Percy being…you know, gone." _Missing,_ but he wasn't going to say that with Annabeth so close. He liked keeping his limbs.

Piper sighed and cupped her chin in her hand. "I know. Still."

"Yeah, still," he said.

She sighed again and perked up. "Did I ever explain the _I'm not a lady_ joke?" she asked. He shook his head. "Well, I was doing research with my dad—"

"For a movie?"

She nodded. "Anyway, he was playing a Medieval knight, and there's this old saying, _a lady on the left is no lady. _Your left is your shield side and your right is your sword side, you know?" He nodded. Common knowledge among demigods. "Well, ladies were always supposed to walk on the knight's right side, because he would be escorting her on his arm and then he couldn't bust out his sword and start fights."

"Cool," he said. She was full of this random trivia—and it wasn't boring, like Annabeth's architecture rants. Piper knew some pretty neat stuff. He jumped to his feet, too hyped up on soda from lunch to sit still, and offered her his (right) hand. "Will the lady allow me to escort her somewhere less boring?"

"Sure," she snickered, and took his hand. He helped her up and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, the way guys did in movies, and said, "I promise not to impale you in my haste to beat up other knights."

"Please," she scoffed, "you're just a commoner. You're _lucky_ to be hanging out with a lady."

He smiled at her, sheepishly, and said, "Yeah, I sure am."

Heck, with a beautiful girl on his arm, laughing and regaling him with tales of knights and kings and ladies, he had to be the luckiest guy in the world.

**iii. i conquered**

Piper stormed past him, coming up from the beach, so fast he almost didn't see the tears sliding down her cheek.

"Pipes?" he said, running to catch up with her.

"Go away!" she shrieked, sprinting for the Aphrodite cabin. "Just _go away!"_

"What happened?" he called.

Annabeth blew past, Jason on her heels. "Annabeth," he pleaded, grabbing her shoulder, "please—"

She whirled and slapped him across the face. "Don't you _dare_ touch me, Jason Grace! Don't you _dare!"_

"I didn't mean—"

"Didn't mean to _kiss _me? You—you stupid filthy _Roman!"_

Oh. Crap. Connor took off running.

Piper hadn't even made it through the door. She was slumped against the outer wall of the cabin, with her knees pulled up to her chest, sobbing into her torn jeans.

"Piper?" he said quietly. She looked up and sniffed, stifling her sobs as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"I—I don't even know why I'm so upset," she stammered, "I mean, I _knew_ it was going to happen. She's strong and good at fighting and pretty and perfect. How could he not like her?" she moaned.

He sat on the dirt next to her and tried not to gag on the perfume smell coming from the building. "Don't knock yourself," he said. "You're a pretty cool dude."

"Dudette," she corrected absently, still crying.

"Don't care what gender you are; I'll call you a dude. And I was serious. You're pretty awesome."

"Not awesome enough for _him."_

"What does it matter? Personally, I don't think he's awesome enough for you. I mean, come on, who wants to date the human incarnation of Pikachu?"

She actually snorted at that. "Thanks."

"Come on, Pokemon are lame. Admit it."

She sighed and turned away. "Don't try to make me feel better."

"Too late. I have to."

"Why? Because you need an excuse to be near the Aphrodite cabin?"

"No," he said, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. "Because I care about you. And I'll be the first to tell you, I don't care about many people."

She looked him in the eye and gave a watery laugh. And that was all he needed. He leaned close and pecked her on the lips.

Piper squeaked in surprise, her eyes going wide. "What was _that?"_ she demanded.

He rubbed his neck, his face going red, and stared at his sneakers. "Um…"

This time she was the one to force his gaze up. She smiled a little—a happy, embarrassed smile. "You do it like this," she said, and pulled him down for the sweetest kiss he had ever had the pleasure to experience.

And he didn't even get hit.

O-o-O

**Consider yourself lucky, Connor. Most girls would smack you into next week.**


End file.
